Building Pluralistic Community

I have been asked to lead an egalitarian ma'ariv tonight
wanted to talk about what this means for us as an organization

I have witnessed arguments: "we're conservadox"
"no,we're conservative"
funny thing: I have asked about the history

one person here over 20 years, swears:always traditional-orthodox w/mixed seating
one person was bat mitzvahed here, swears always conservative
reminds me of the joke
arguing over which way they faced for rosh hodesh
went to oldest member of synagogue
"that's how we did it"


we are not a conservadox one or an egal one
we are a radically diverse spiritual community
we have people along all places on that spectrum & on other spectrums

how do we serve such a community without compromising principles?

Warren last week compared it to a kiddush, where you put out something for everyone
it's a good metaphor. we have daily minyan, not everyone goes
we have tot shabbat, not everyone utilizes it
we even have members who don't come for shabbat services but come for other programs
and that's okay

the challenges are:
A. we can’t be all things to all people, but how can we different things to different people?
B. what are the boundaries?
C. if we are different things to different people, how can we still be a community?

A. how can we be all things to all people

Somewhat hard to offer diverse things even when they don't overlap
I do a lot of different programs for different people--this weekend, separate from services, I teach 3 classes. Being only 1 person, it's sometimes a lot of work, but doable.
gets hard when we have 2 kids services during the main service, I'm trying to be everywhere.

In this case, since there isn't currently a traditional saturday ma'ariv, it's not overlapping with or drawing people away from any other program.
One of the ideas that pops up here & there: try to have multiple services
but it’s a challenge to do in a community our size

One of the things I would like to do, that has been done successfully at Aish HaTorah, is offer parallel classes during High Holiday services.


friday night DUS originally did this, not enough for 2 minyanin
also: felt divisive

We wrestled with that issue this week in the Purim Planning committee-
The Kings Bay Y offered to cosponsor our Saturday night party
But they said our megillah reading would be way too advanced for their population.
If their people walk in to a traditional megillah reading, they won't
connect, they'll walk out and never come back no matter how many free events we put on, & how many flyers we put out.

They asked: could we offer a beginner's megillah reading for their families? They think it would be very successful, they'd be glad to promote it?
So we’re going to have 2 readings on Sunday; 800 traditional reading, and a family reading later in the day

I have heard the argument: "wait till we have the members"
we can’t just keep waiting
the way to get members is to offer something they can relate to.

As long as we only offer only one kind of service, it’s like only offering herring at Kiddush--we only bring in the people who like herring.

If we want to bring in new members, we need to diversify what we offer,
we need to meet their spiritual needs
instead of expecting them to come to us without us doing anything differently.

B. what are the boundaries?

Some people, at least privately, have expressed opposition, because they are in principle against egalitarianism. These people are consistent, and I respect that.
The question we need to ask, is: when a woman leads davenning, like anat hoffman reading torah at the western wall, whether or not you yourself would do it, is it good or bad?

When I was in Breslov, a rabbi, wearing black suit and hat, said a very surprising thing:
we don't impose one way of prayer, one way of dress
if we did, wouldn’t be service of the heart,
wouldn’t be breslov which if you arrange it is lev basar, a heart of flesh
each tribe had their own gate to prayer, their own way they served god

We still have ashkenazic nusah, sefardic nusah,yemenite nusah,nusah ha-ari.

The jewish community has always been diverse.

Besht: best key is a hammer--most important thing is, is my heart in it?

when anat hoffman leads davenning, it is a heartfelt expression of serving God. She is connecting to god through reading torah, through public prayer.

That is a good thing, even if you yourself don't do it.

The question is: can we tolerate a range of Jewish expressions?

I raised this issue with Ismar Schorsh. He said: this is what we mean when we say CJ is a pluralistic movement.
It confuses some people that the movement will offer multiple teshuvot on issues.
One teshuvah allows driving on Shabbat, one doesn’t
We (CJ) affirm the validity of traditional services and we affirm the validity of egalitarian ones

there can be a variety of legitimate approaches

not to say it's anything goes. There are approaches that CJ says are simply prohibited halachically.
I wouldn't let a group of cultural Jews hold Friday night pig-roast here..
we're not talking about a pig roast.

We are talking about people who are not ordinarily here on a saturday evening coming in and davenning, which is a beautiful thing.

3. what does it mean to be a community?

some communities are held together by uniformity
they believe the same, they davven the same, they dress the same
borough park: can tell what sect by the brim of your hat
can tell where you davven,how you vote, who your friends are

we're not that community, and we never will be.
If we were, I probably wouldn't be here—
my kippah wouldn't be right,
I dress too formally, to informally.

Sephardim: declare "hineni muchan....veahafta lereyecha"
because community is held together by love

love means: I care about you--I know about you, I get involved in your life
I invite you over for shabbes (something I'd like us to work on down the line)
I help you get out if you're homebound
I visit you if you're sick, or mourning--like the shiva we held for Annette
I try to help you solve the problems you face
I help you look for a job if you're unemployed,and I keep your spirits up.

This is why I care so much about the Hesed committee that Edie and Steve are trying to get off the ground,
because people who'd like to be here are stuck at home
because we have had members who go to the hospital, and nobody called or visited them
because we have a member who broke her hip and nobody here knew for over a month
because we need to become a community

And loving each other also means supporting our fellow congregants in having

their spiritual needs met
coming when they have a shiva
coming to daily minyan, even if you don't like the mehitza

supporting a childrens program even if you personally don't need it

I invite you to join me as we walk this path of envisioning, together, what kind of community we could be, and making that vision a reality.